saturday - 15/7/06

I had loads to say just now. But now I'm stumped for words. Lol..

At service today, Dr Che Ahn encouraged us to bring those who needed physical healing tomorrow for service. The first person that came into my mind was my dad. I quickly called him after the service..but he wasnt free. Haiz. He was going to his own church with his mom..Ah well. As long as his gout isnt bothering him.

When I approached him when I got home, he thought I was my sister. And his response was heartbreaking. I felt his discomfort towards her, and I felt her hatred towards him. Are father and daughter supposed to be like this?

Anyway...Today was physical healing. At the end, I was so amazed, so touched, so empowered.

Ms Ong told me to call her asap. I did la, and I ended up getting an earful from her. Said I wasnt responsible and yadda yadda yadda. What am I to say to that? I'm committed to CHC man. I dont want to miss cell and service...But haiz maybe I am irresponsible. I duno. God, God, tell me what to do.

Yisheng was feeling uncomfortable throughout the first part of service. I was feeling so . . . like a failure. I wanted him to come because I knew he was getting distant from God. But in the end..A miracle happened. He raised up his hand to dedicate his life to Jesus. At that moment..All I could do was tug on Belle's jacket sleeve, smile and thank the Lord.

My mom asked if I wanted the Deuter bag I was thinking about. Dan told her. I had really wanted it. But at that moment when she asked me, I said no. I didnt need the bag. Now..I'm really careful with what I buy. I only get what I need not what I want.

I'm going for service tmr with Belle. Its gonna be great.

The incident on last Sunday is starting to fade away. It still hurts of course, but I can feel God giving me a sense of peace. He's prompting me that He's there for me. The lyrics of one song we sang was "You, You are the God who will save". I immediately thought of him. I begged God..to save him. I still wanted him as a friend.

Now, I'm still begging God. Ok la, not begging. Asking. I know God has His own timing. Just wanna trust Him but sometimes its hard.sa